So as some of you may remember I made some resolutions back in January to get me back into roleplaying again after too long a drought. Attend or run one game in each of January and February and two games in March. So it's three months into the year, how am I doing?
Not well. I haven't attended a single roleplaying session this year. Tried to run but never got around to actually scheduling and looking for players beyond some initial exploration.
So the question is why? Why didn't I meet any of my goals? Answer of course is me. Apathy? Procrastination? Laziness? Fear? Probably all four. The worst two offenders are actually procrastination and fear.
Procrastination because I keep saying "I'll do it after I get X out of the way" or "Y is happening soon so I can't do it until after that." A dangerous thing to do, and I've done it for five years now.
Fear because I don't actually have a group. Part of me doesn't want to try running my first game in six years with a group of strangers and making a fool out of myself. Assuming I can get a group in the first place.
Five and a half years ago I moved from England to Canada and lost my group there. I've never been able to get into the right circles over here to get a group together so everything conspires (in my mind) to stop me running a game.
I need to get off my ass and run something, even if I do make a fool of myself. I have an evening course that finishes next week, and then I'm away on vacation for a week (and the in-laws are now over,) so I can try something at the end of the month or May (see how procrastination easily sneaks up on you?)
Still, I hereby make the promise in front of the internet ( :) )that by the end of May I'll have run at least one session.
Promise this time.